I am looking for the elusive fount of quiet joy that resides in the soul of myself. I know it’s there. Yet I cannot seem to find it.
I realized today that I am going about my search all wrong. No frantic flinging about of the furnishings, or digging in the dusty corners will help. There are signs of its’ existence, but they are easily erased by worry, bitterness, or sorrow. Fear clouds the mind and skitters the emotions, blinding one to any trace of hope.
Moreover, it is clear that my methods to date are having an adverse affect on those I care most deeply for. My unquiet madness is infecting the world around me. That must stop.
So, I will begin again. I will take the time to cease flailing about in desperation. There will be no more screams of frustration. I will find the stillness that presages quiet joy.
It is a seed of hope and will need careful tending. This I will diligently bend my will to and so see it flourish. He who matters most will find a brighter, lighter me each morning.
I may stumble at times, and I may fail when the going is rocky. Yet I am determined to prevail. Life is indeed sweet … but only if I let it be. Thus, in stillness and calm knowing, I will again find the fount of quiet joy within me.
So shall I make of my world a summer’s day sky and lush grassy hills to walk, sunshine to warm us and peace to bless our steps.
I realized today that I am going about my search all wrong. No frantic flinging about of the furnishings, or digging in the dusty corners will help. There are signs of its’ existence, but they are easily erased by worry, bitterness, or sorrow. Fear clouds the mind and skitters the emotions, blinding one to any trace of hope.
Moreover, it is clear that my methods to date are having an adverse affect on those I care most deeply for. My unquiet madness is infecting the world around me. That must stop.
So, I will begin again. I will take the time to cease flailing about in desperation. There will be no more screams of frustration. I will find the stillness that presages quiet joy.
It is a seed of hope and will need careful tending. This I will diligently bend my will to and so see it flourish. He who matters most will find a brighter, lighter me each morning.
I may stumble at times, and I may fail when the going is rocky. Yet I am determined to prevail. Life is indeed sweet … but only if I let it be. Thus, in stillness and calm knowing, I will again find the fount of quiet joy within me.
So shall I make of my world a summer’s day sky and lush grassy hills to walk, sunshine to warm us and peace to bless our steps.
5 comments:
There's a saying down home, "sometimes the harder you work, the behinder you get."
You need only concentrate on being you.
That is so true, baby. I am going to concentrate on being me, a calmer, more joyful me though.
I've always wanted to achieve the "bliss of being". I understand now that it only comes through a certain inner stillness and allowing. From that, all else follows.
I woke up and wanted to change the world and I tried and tried...but the world didnt change and I struggle through life....
I woke up and wanted to change the world ....but instaed I cahnged myself....It was then that the world changed........
Sometimes I wish I would follow me own pearls of wisdom.
Kat, sometimes I wonder whether it still exists, that fount you speak of - or whether all those things you point out, have actually destoryed it .... good luck in your journey - I hope you soon find that door and open it to the calm you seek.
I found my quiet inner place one day, and created a way to return to it whenever needed. I stepped outside to the yard and asked my self, "Is there any part of the yard I feel better at, a place I like to be. Once I found it I took a stick and drew a circle around that spot. I know where my circle is, even if the original draw of it is long gone.
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